Touch me like you mean it
by Claire O'Mack
Summary: She had missed him, she had missed his smile, his innocent face, his slightly off pitch humour, and most of all his company. For a brief self indulgent moment, she wonders if he has missed her too.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok well this is my first attempt at a marvel fanfic. And I have always been a fan of non cannon. So here is my take on a bit of Romanogers sorry if they are a bit occ but I will do my best to keep them as in character as possible.**

 **This story is set just before Civil war please enjoy.**

 **Touch me like you mean it**

Natasha Romanoff was a nomad by nature, not only did her job require her to maintain a certain distance from people, but her own bad experiences had taught her to be cautious of getting close to people. Moving from place to place, never staying somewhere too long seemed to help with not building relationships with others, and yet she was back in New York again. Standing looking up at Stark Tower and wondering what the people inside were doing. Were they eating, watching a movie, on a date? She placed her hands in her pockets and pulled her jacket closed around her. The wind was whipping her hair into her face, and the first tendrils of winter chilled her skin where it was exposed. Yet somehow being here, looking up at the familiar land mark made her feel warm inside.

She took a step forward, wondering if she should ring the bell, or just walk in, its not like she wasn't welcome here. Hell she had her own room, and yet she had been away so long, she felt once again like an outsider. She had saved the world with these guys on more than one occasion, but now she hesitates. Holding her hand up like she was trying to hail a cab. For a brief moment she thinks of him. A small ache in her stomach causes her to press a hand to her midriff, and in that moment she realises why she had come back. She had missed him, she had missed his smile, his innocent face, his slightly off pitch humour, and most of all his company. For a brief self indulgent moment, she wonders if he has missed her too. Shaking herself Natasha quickly swung her hand forward and pulled open the door, marching across the foyer identifying herself for JARVIS she acknowledged his greeting and asked where everyone was. JARVIS informed her that everyone was on the twelfth floor and she hopped into the elevator.

"Twelve please." She called fighting the urge to go straight to her room and maybe take a couple of shots of Vodka first. She shook her head, her back falling against the hard cold metal of the small box now carrying her towards her friends. She was the black widow, she did not develop crushes on colleagues, especially 90 year olds with limited romantic experience.

Steve had been sitting quietly in the corner, simply watching as Bruce and Stark held centre stage with talk of artificial intelligence, and robots, and others forms of technology Steve had no idea about. Clint had been sitting with him for a while, but he had to go home, his wife was waiting for him as the baby was still not sleeping through the night, and he was apparently on night feeding duty. Sam had been in conversation with Maria Hill for a while, but she now seemed engrossed with something Pepper was talking about. Making his mind up to go help prop up the bar with Sam Steve drew in a long breath, knowing his melancholy was not just because he felt out of his depth as far as the conversation went, but because he was missing her. There was something about her that made him feel at ease, more normal somehow. Less like a man out of time, and more like one with a purpose. At first he put it down to having gotten used to her being around, to her being his partner, someone he implicitly trusted. As the months drew passed and he heard nothing from her, he found himself thinking about her more often. The way she looked when she was making fun of him. The way her hair glinted so bright red in the sun, and her smile, her full lips curving upwards in a way that made him want to kiss her. He knew at that moment when his thoughts turned unbidden into his mind that he was more than simply missing his friend.

Now as he moved across the room, the sound of the elevator caused him to pause, they were not expecting anyone, and the hour was late. The conversation ended abruptly, as all eyes turned and the elevator door slid back.

His heart caught in his throat for a second , she was leaning against the door, arms folded a small smile played across her lips. Her hair was longer now, and Steve couldn't help but follow its length down to the swell of her breast. He quickly flicked his eyes back to her face, but he knew the moment he saw her eyes he knew he had been caught staring. A blush rose on his cheeks as she stepped forward allowing the doors to close behind her.

"Not disturbing anything am I?" she said walking over to the bar and pouring herself a Vodka like she had just popped out for a walk, not been gone for almost three months.

"You don't call, you don't write, then you come in a steal my booze." Stark said walking over to Natasha and giving her a small smile and a quick embrace.

"I find it's the most effective way of getting a drink around here. I mean if I wait for you to offer, a girl could die of thirst." Natasha quipped back, as her eyes drew quickly over Steve's form and landed on Sam.

"Hey don't look at me, you super hero types have your own code, I'm just the apprentice." Sam said as he offered Natasha a quick nod of his head as Pepper came up and hugged Natasha with out a word. The assassin accepted the hug without protest, but inside she was wondering when it would end.

"We have been worried about you." Pepper said now standing back and folding her arms as Natasha slugged back her Vodka and poured herself another.

"I know I should have called, but I was enjoying the piece and quiet, you know saving the world makes you appreciate it that little bit more." Natasha replied not a hint of irony in her voice as she once again looked in Steve's direction. He felt routed to the floor, and however much he wanted to go over and wrap his arms around her, he knew he couldn't. It was easy for Stark, he defused everything with humour. Pepper was a woman and it was kind of an unsaid thing, you hugged your friends when you haven't seen them in a while. Steve however had no funny quips, or gender rights. So he just stood there staring at her like she was some kind of art work, hanging on the wall of a museum.

"Hey old man, are you too tired to come say hello or are you actually starting to decompose." Natasha said, her smile hidden behind her glass as she took another shot of Vodka. Steve couldn't help but smile, he had missed this, hell he had missed her, and she had just opened to door for him.

"No I was just conserving my energy, you know considering my age." Steve retorted, momentarily proud of himself before taking three long strides and wrapping his arms around her small frame. Her returning hug was fierce, and he was caught off guard for a second, thinking the hug would last only a moment he felt himself clinging on to her like she was the only thing keeping him falling to his death. Natasha was holding on to him just as tightly, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she felt him start to pull away. His resistance was only brief as he fell back into the hug. His chin resting on her shoulder. Only a loud cough from Tony Stark made them pull apart, both of their faces slightly flushed. Natasha regained herself more quickly turning to Stark and frowning slightly.

"You two need a room, or should we just start making the pop corn?"

"Bite me." Natasha replied her smile softened her words but Tony still feigned hurt and he quickly went behind the bar and began making cocktails.

"I think this deserves a celebration." He stated shaking the mixer and lining up the glasses.

"Not for me I am driving." Maria said before Sam quickly joined her saying that he had better be off as well.

"I've got training in the morning, wouldn't want to let my CO down." He said looking pointedly at Steve who just gave him a rye smile.

"Oh I don't think you will have a problem tomorrow, I think the Cap is going to have a very pleasant evening." Tony said flashing a smile at both Natasha and Steve. Steve looked confused for a second, and then registering the look of thunder on Natasha's face he quickly tuned into what was going on.

"Still think its best to quit while I am ahead. Plus she's my ride." Sam continued saving Steve's blushes as Maria and Sam said their good byes and headed out of the door.

"So Bruce what about you, got any plans tonight. Maybe cyber dating, inventing a new alien busting missile. Or turning into a giant green rage monster?" Stark said finishing off the drinks and pouring them out.

"None of the above, I hope." Bruce replied before stepping forward and taking his drink. He stopped and placed his hand on Natasha's shoulder.

"Welcome home." He said his voice soft understanding, she gave him a small nod before accepting her drink from Tony.

The party was winding down, both Bruce and Pepper had left a few minutes ago, retiring to bed, leaving just Natasha, Steve and Tony sat sipping cocktails around the fire place. Natasha was feeling warm a fuzzy, but not drunk, Tony on the other hand was well passed the warm and fuzzes and it was obvious that Steve was uncomfortable with the line of conversation Tony had decided to take.

"You know, you two make a really good looking couple, plus you have so much in common. I have seen the way you guys look at one another. Plus that hug who are you trying to kid." Steve was hiding behind his glass, Natasha could see the solider was getting angry, but he was far to polite to say anything.

"Tony I think you need to shut up now." Natasha said looking at him pointedly and rising her eyebrow.

"Come on Romanoff, I bet you could teach him a thing or two." Tony said with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle. His hand resting on her knee before Steve stood up and took Tony gently but firmly by the upper arms. Now if Tony was wearing his suit things could have gotten out of hand at that moment, but as he was not, and was also pretty drunk, Steve subdued him easily and pulled him upright off the sofa.

"I think you need to go to bed. I think Pepper was calling for you." Steve said in a bold faced lie, but it had the desired effect. Tony was quickly making his exit. Steve breathed a sigh of relief as Tony stepped into the elevator. Before either of them could speak however Tony fell back through the doors and called to them excessively loudly.

"I am off to make my woman happy, oh and F.Y.I you can ask JARVIS to secure this room for you know some privacy, just saying." Tony said with a wink as he stumbled back into the elevators, as the door closed Steve couldn't help but placing his hand over his face as Tony started singing.

"Let's get it on." before the doors mercifully closed on him.

"Well that was awkward." Natasha said after a few moments of silence, and Steve couldn't help but laugh. The tension inside the room halved for a second before he met her gaze once more.

Taking a breath Steve sat down and looked at his friend.

"How have you been Nat?" he asked finally allowing himself a moment to simply talk to her.

"Ok I guess, just you know finding myself." Natasha replied, it was on some level true, but mostly she had been running, for her self, from the Avengers, and from him.

"I see couldn't do that here no?" Steve asked some bitterness clouding his voice and he saw immediately that Natasha put her guard up.

"I guess not, sometimes you have to walk away to find out what you really miss." She replied her voice holding a slight coldness to it that set Steve on edge. Was she referring to him, or her job. Maybe she was even trying to tell him she didn't miss anything and would be off again shortly.

"So why did you come back?" Steve asked knowing the only way to know would be to ask. He wasn't certain she would tell him the truth, but he had to at least try.

Natasha froze at the question, in her heart of hearts she knew why she had come back, but to tell him would be breaking her own code. Don't get involved, don't get too close, and never fall in love.

"I guess this is my home I belong here, plus I missed you guys." She said finally finishing off her drink and setting the empty glass on the table. She sat back crossing her legs and running her fingers through her hair. Absently she thought it needed a cut but as Steve's eyes followed her fingers she could tell he liked it longer. A small smile played at her lips perhaps she would grow it out after all.

"So any plans to leave again, or are you here to stay this time?" Steve asked casually as he tore his eyes from her full lips and slender fingers. His eyes darting downwards again, his shyness taking over once more.

"Why Cap you got plans?" Natasha said falling back on flirting with him, it was easy and she enjoyed the blush it brought to his cheeks.

"No, I mean not specifically, with you I mean." Steve said stumbling over his words and inwardly cursing himself.

"I see did you want to make plans with me. I think I am free." Natasha said enjoying this game a little more than she really should.

"I guess spending time with you would be nice, to catch up, talk you know, not what Tony was suggesting." Steve replied feeling a little bolder now. It wasn't wrong for him to want to spend some time with her after all.

"I guess I am up for that, but you don't know what you'd be missing?" Natasha said getting up and walking towards the elevator.

"Oh I have a pretty good idea." Steve replied before she turned towards him her smile lighting up her face, as the doors slowly closed she said.

"Tony was right you know, I could teach you a thing or two."

TBC... Let me know if you would like part two, will try and update soon if there is interest. All comments welcomed, but no flames please I cry easily. Thank you for reading XxX


	2. Chapter 2

**Well I am back for part two**

For a moment Steve was left standing on his own in the middle of the room alone, attempting to catch his breath. Did he hear what he had thought he had heard. Was she simply teasing him or had it been a genuine offer. For a second he stood motionless, until his feet decided to move of their own accord. He piratically ran into the elevator, calling out for her floor he tapped his foot and folded his arms. His resolve diminishing with every floor that rushed passed. Would she think him crazy for showing up at her door? Would she be disappointed if he didn't? Before he could think on it too much he was there, the elevator opened and he was looking down the corridor at her closed door. Taking a deep breath, he decided the only way he would know for sure would be to ask her. Walking slowly now he remembered the way she had held him when they had hugged, he hadn't been imagining that, and the things Tony had said played on his mind. He wasn't the only one who had seen something between the two of them. His hand came up, closing into a fist he knocked on the door.

Natasha peeled off her jacket and stretched her stiff muscles, tossing the Jacket on the back of a chair she sat on the bed and pulled off her boots. Left only in jeans and a red tank top she felt almost normal. She had left Steve downstairs, probably confused, and she knew she should not have done that. She was torturing herself as much as him. It was her business to know people, to observe their behaviour, to manipulate, to find a weakness and exploit it. She had seen Steve's weakness, and she had used it. She had seen his need for her and she had played on it, and now she felt bad. Before her self loathing could take hold however a knock at her door had her heart racing. She knew exactly who it was, and for a second she considered not answering it. Knowing that he really deserved an explanation however she padded across the plush carpet and pulled open the door.

"What exactly did you mean?" Steve asked as soon as Natasha opened the door. She quickly grabbed the front of he shirt and pulled him into her room and closed the door.

"Walls have ears." she said quickly going to her own fridge and removing a bottle of water. Steve was glad it wasn't more Vodka, however much a drunk Natasha appealed to him, sober was probably better.

"Want something?" She asked and Steve couldn't miss the double entendre, but this time he managed to control his desire to look away.

"Just an answer." he replied referring back to his earlier question as Natasha popped the lid off her water and drank quickly before setting it down on the table. Her tongue coming out to wipe away any moisture that had escaped. Steve couldn't help but stare at her tongue caressing her lips, and he even had the courage to now look her in the eyes after his brief distraction. The blush that rose on his face however he could not control.

"Which answer would you like, and to what question?" Natasha said unable to stop stalling, she hadn't yet come up with a convincing lie for her earlier statement, and in truth she didn't want to.

"What you said to me downstairs, what did you mean by you could teach me a thing or two." Steve said having had enough of these games. He had been waiting three months for her to return, and he had no idea how long she would be here this time, it was now or possibly never.

"I meant it exactly the way it sounded. That is assuming you haven't been hiding a secret girlfriend in your room." Natasha said her voice holding something Steve couldn't quite pin point, until he saw her grasp her lower lips with her teeth. She was nervous, probably not as nervous as he was right now, but still it was there behind a thin veil of aloofness. This somehow made Steve feel better, he relaxed slightly and lent against the wall behind him.

"You seem to still have a problem with my kissing technique, what if I told you I had been practising?" he asked as he watched her eyebrow shoot up and a small lopsided gin appear on her face.

"I'd say prove it." The challenge was clearly evident in her voice. She stood legs slightly apart, arms folded and head tilted to the side. Steve moved forward he was now mere inches from her and yet they were not touching in any way. He could feel the tension thick in the room, her smell was invading his senses and his head span slightly at her proximity.

"Come on solider show me what you've got." Natasha said her voice deep and thick as she spoke, it sent a chill down Steve's spine.

"Yes Ma'am." he bent forward now, his hand reaching for the back of her head, cupping it gently, as he felt her hand on his shoulder, and another flat on his chest. Her lips tilted upwards to accept his descending mouth, and at the last second Steve closed his eyes. Her warm moist lips touched his, soft gentle, only moving slightly, as he almost ghosted his mouth over hers, the barest touch almost sending him weak at the knees. Pressing forward, knowing this was his chance, he placed his other hand around her waist and drew her in closer, pressing himself against her now he opened his mouth slightly and darted his tongue across her bottom lip. His mouth pressing firmly against hers, his tongue now seeking entrance into her mouth battling with her tongue for dominance. His need for her almost overwhelming her as he kissed her loosing all sense of time of anything that wasn't Natasha Romanoff.

Natasha was glad of the hand Steve had wrapped around her waist, for she was sure if it hadn't have been there, she would be a mere puddle on the floor. His kiss was searing into her soul, bit by bit until she was nothing but nerve endings. Never had a kiss left her so breathless, and so in need until this one. And it wasn't just his technique, but it was because of whom she was kissing.

As Steve broke the kiss and stepped back slightly he couldn't help the large smile that appeared on his face as he took in her glassy eyed expression, and her swollen lips.

"Better?" he asked already knowing the answer, but needing t hear her say it.

"Not bad, not bad at all, so what else have you been practising?" Natasha's lips curved up in an oh so sexy smile, and Steve felt his heart start to beat more fiercely inside his chest. For a moment he was silent, just enjoying the moment, looking into her large green eyes, dilated with desire, and lips still curved upwards. For a moment he could almost believe she truly loved him.

"Maybe that's where you come in." Steve said his hand rubbing small circles on her lower back, as Natasha lent forward to place her lips on his once more, there was something very real, and very wrong about kissing him this way. In that moment, whilst their lips were pressed together in a timeless rhythm she knew she could take this no further. It wasn't fair to him, or to herself. For Natasha knew she simply could not love him back. And she knew Steve did love her. It was in his face every time he looked at her. In his eyes as he pulled back from their furious kissing, and in the touch of his hands.

Steve noticed the change in her demeanour almost immediately, she wouldn't quite meet his gaze, and when she did, she held this almost indifferent expression. If he didn't know her better, he would say she was ashamed.

"Nat?" he said raising his finger to lift her chin so she would look at him.

"Well I guess this has been fun Rogers, but I think your lessons are over for tonight." Natasha replied, almost hating herself, but not enough to reconsider her statement. Steve pulled away from her immediately as though he had been burned, his hands dropped to his sides, and his eyes hardened against her fake smile.

"If that's what you want." He said feeling like his heart had just dropped into his boots. Right now he was finding it hard to just draw his next breath. He looked at her, that fake sexy smirk plasters all across her face. It sickened him to think she had been playing him all this time. Just like all the men before him, all the nameless targets, the one night stands, and the ones she had been sent to kill. He choked back his anger and thrust his hands in his pockets, refusing to look at her any more.

"Like I said its been fun, don't go thinking we aren't still friends." Natasha said frightened now that she had really hurt him. Reaching out for his arm, she was shocked almost enough to take a step back from him when he wrenched out of her grasp.

"Friends, I guess the meaning has change since my time." Steve said his voice dripping with anger, as Natasha folded her arms across her chest and a frown appeared on her face.

"No it hasn't, I am your friend Steve, just things maybe got a bit out of hand." Natasha said realising that this was probably more her doing than his. Steve was simply following his heart, unaccustomed to doing anything else, he had not learnt how to shield himself from certain disappointments.

"I thought never mind I was clearly mistaken." Steve said turning to leave, but he felt Natasha reach out to him again, touching him lightly on the shoulder. Once he had stopped his progression to the door, she removed her hand quickly.

"Look I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, I guess I am a little drunk, and well curious." Natasha said hoping an apology would smooth over the treacherous waters they were currently navigating.

"Maybe in future you should consider who you are playing with before you get to curious." Steve said, he felt like a total jerk for saying it, but right now he was just so god-damn angry that he needed to vent, and he needed to vent at her. He didn't wait for a response, he could stand no more lies from her, it was just killing him to see her fake smile, her fake emotions, and even though for a moment when she had said she was sorry, he truly felt she had meant it. The damage was already done, and now he new he would have to spend the next few weeks putting his heart back together. As he walked down the corridor he somewhat selfishly hoped she would go away again, maybe to find herself or whatever other excuse she could think of for simply running away.

At this moment Steve had never felt so unlike himself, he was angry and hurt, and he just wanted to hit something. He knew why of course, he had loved Natasha Romanoff almost from the first time he had met her. She was strong, independent, beautiful and made him laugh. Now he was almost running to his room, trying not to think of her fake smile, how her eyes looked at him like he wasn't even there. For a second he felt like running back to her and asking her why. Why had she done it? Why him? But he didn't, he knew why. Because she could.

Natasha had collapsed on her bed, curled up into a small ball she just lay there staring at the wall. She would cry, but she knew she didn't deserve the tears of self pity. She could have been with Steve right now, and everything would have been perfect, but no she had to get scared and run from him, from what she felt for him. Now he hated her, and she had no clue how to put things right without admitting what she felt for him, and why she had pushed him away. Punching the mattress underneath her she sat upright, in her haste she made her head spin but she ignored it. Grabbing a pair of sneakers and ripping off her jeans, she went to her beside draw and pulled out a pair of running shorts. Pulling them on and lacing her shoes, she quickly walked to the door and snatched it open. There was no way she was going to sit and brood in her room, she needed some physical activity, and if she couldn't have what she had originally intended to be having with Steve then she would get it all out of her system another way.

Marching down the corridor and piratically falling into the elevator she didn't realise that the car was occupied, but it was too late, the person inside had clocked her state of distress and had coughed to alert her to his presence.

TBC... So will Natasha stop running from her feelings, and will Steve ever forgive her for what she has done? Or is it too late, has the damage already been done.

Comments suggestions, all welcome, I will endeavour to update quickly thank you for reading. XxX


	3. Chapter 3

**I am back for another chapter, hope you are all enjoying the story so far. I did think this story would be a two maybe three parter, but I think it has more legs than that. So by no further ado on with the show.**

The sudden cough coming from behind her made Natasha jump. It was unlike her not to be completely aware of her soundings, it was testament to how much her encounter with Steve had gotten to her. Turning now Natasha let out a short puff of air and placed her hands over her heart.

"Dam it Banner you scared the hell out of me." Natasha said as Bruce pushed off the back wall and stepped closer to her.

"Good job it wasn't the other way around, I mean I'm not sure the other guy would fit in here." He said a weak smile on his lips as he took in Natasha's dishevelled form, and wet rimmed eyes. He had never seen her in such a state, Natasha always seemed so composed. Yet Bruce did not feel comfortable with coming straight out and asking her what was wrong. Plus he had always thought of her as such a private person, and even now as he looked at her he could see her mentally pulling away.

"What floor?" He asked as the lift stood motionless waiting for instructions.

"Basement." She stated without looking at him, Bruce made no move to punch in the detestation, knowing that he had to at least try and find out what was going on.

"Off to the gym a. Kind of late for a work out." Bruce said not venturing closer, but unfolding his arms and placing them in his pockets.

"Guess so I hadn't noticed." Natasha replied, giving him only a cursory glance before looking back at the wall in front of her.

"So." Bruce started but he was quickly interrupted as Natasha turned to him sharply. Suddenly aware that the elevator hadn't moved and Banner was looking increasingly uncomfortable.

"Was there something you actually wanted to ask me or are we playing twenty questions?" Natasha said feeling a mixture of frustration and guilt as Banner's face dropped. He seemed to recover quickly however, pulling his hands from his pockets and clasping them together.

"Well I was wondering why you looked so sad." He said knowing that it was now or never, and he really did feel like she needed a friend right now.

"I'm fine, it's nothing." Natasha replied before turning from him again, trying to hide her face from his probing eyes.

"No your not, and I think it might have something to do with a certain Captain." Bruce said taking a punt on his suspicions. He could tell by the tight set of her shoulders, and the clenching of her jaw that he had hit on something.

"You know he likes you right, that while you were gone he worried about you more than anyone else, even tried to find you for a while. I also know that you like him too. I saw that hug you gave him, the stolen glances across the room at one another." Bruce paused taking a step closer to her, encouraging her to look at him by placing a light hand on her shoulder. Natasha didn't shy away from his touch, but he could feel her muscles clench under his fingers. Looking at her now he continued.

"What we do, who we are can be overwhelming, unforgiving and at times thankless. But at others its wonderful and exciting, and I know you love what you do, but it can't make you feel complete. Your job can't love you back, Steve can, you don't get many chances in this life to find someone special. If you do you should grab it with both hands, and never look back." For a moment Bruce saw Natasha's eyes soften, and her head dropped momentarily to her shoes.

"You know thanks for the pep talk honey, but I am fine, love is for children, and last time I checked I was all grown up." Natasha said running her hand down Bruce's arm and winking at him before leaning forward and hitting the button on the elevator.

Bruce couldn't say anything, he just hoped that at least some of what he had said would have gotten through. He saw the thin vale of lies she masked herself in, and yet that vale was becoming thinner and more fragile with every passing day, and he wondered if that's what was truly scaring her.

Steve lay in his bed just looking up at the ceiling, he had tried to get some sleep but his mind kept going over what had happened that night. As he went passed anger, and moved to hurt he realised that maybe Natasha hadn't lied to him, not in the way he had first thought anyway. What she had lied about was her true feelings for him. He had seen it in her eyes after she had kissed him, he was sure of it, but then she had changed, withdrew into herself and pushed him away.

"Dam it." he said sitting up in bed and letting his head fall into his palms. Rubbing his eyes with the heals of his hands Steve knew he has pushed right back. Making it easier for her to run from him. Now he didn't know if there was any hope of getting back what they had, let alone thinking about having a relationship.

Steve knew that he was inexperienced when it came to women, but in this case it didn't seem to matter, Natasha was no ordinary women, and Steve knew Natasha, well at least he thought he did.

He lay back down letting his body flop against his mattress glancing at the clock he saw it was just past four a.m. He couldn't do anything about it until the morning now, so he turned over and resigned himself to a sleepless night. In the morning however he was going to sort this thing out, he knew if he was going to get Natasha to open up to her feelings for him, he would have to take this one step at a time.

Despite working out until she almost passed out from exhaustion, Natasha spent a restless night on top of her bed with her clothes still on. Dragging herself out of bed and pulling off her clothes as she went. Leaving them wherever they dropped, she went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Setting it for just bearably chilly she jumped in and washed herself quickly. Feeling more awake now she turned up the temperature and washed her hair. Climbing out and drying off Natasha knew she could no longer put off going downstairs. It was already quite late and if she didn't make an appearance soon, she knew either Pepper or Tony would come looking for her.

Slapping on some black jeans and pulling on a navy blue tank top she gave herself a quick glance in the mirror. Not bothering to dry her hair she plastered on a well practised smile and walked out of the door.

This time she checked the elevator carefully before stepping in, she did not need another pep talk from Banner. It was his words that has kept her up most of the night, and she was not about to thank him for it.

"Twelve please." Natasha called and the elevator started moving, when the doors finally opened Natasha was grateful that everyone had shown up for breakfast. Her presence would be diluted, as would Steve's.

"Morning sleepy head, big night?" Tony said with a small wink, throwing her an apple which Natasha caught with sickening ease.

"Not really, took the liberty of using your gym, looked like it hadn't been visited in a while." Natasha quipped back, thanking Tony for his somewhat predictable, yet welcomed sarcasm.

"What you trying to say Romanoff, am I fat. Do I look fat?" Tony said turning to Pepper who simply smiled over her cup of coffee.

Natasha took the chance to glance at Steve, but he wasn't looking at her at all, he was reading the paper, and half chewing a mouthful of cereal. For a second Natasha felt disappointed, then quickly shook herself knowing that there were eyes on her. She saw Banner looking at her from the corner of her eye. She ignored him choosing instead to go and join Pepper for a cup of coffee.

It had taken all of Steve's will power not to look at Natasha, he had fixed his eyes on his paper, and even though he had no idea what he had just read, he had accomplished his task. He caught her slightly confused look as she turned away from him. Steve 1 Natasha 0. Steve let a small smile slip on to his lips, before Tony's hand clapping down on his shoulder made him jump.

"Wow poverty in America, what are we doing about it. Good article, not something I would be grinning about really." Tony said snatching the paper and making Steve blush as he had been caught out.

"I was thinking about something else." Steve said attempting to take his paper back as Tony stood up and held it out of his reach.

"Oh and what would that be Captain, have a good night did we?" Tony said looking briefly at Natasha before turning his attention back to Steve. Steve's silence spoke volumes, and Tony resisted it, even with his limited grasp on feelings he backed off quickly.

"I did, I had a great night, got all my family back, had a nice drink, and hey no world wide emergencies broke out." Tony clapped his hands together looking around the room as the phone started ringing and everyone was silenced.

"Stark here what's up." He asked knowing it was his job to answer the phone in his house, even though it was the world security council and probably concerned all of them.

"Morning Mr Stark, we have a new lead on a HYDRA cell that has found itself in possession of alien weaponry. Due to the nature of these weapons we will need the Avengers to take the lead on bringing their operation to a close."

"Just give us a location." Tony said as the others in the room began to stand up and prepare for the mission.

"Just outside of Siberia, it's off the grid but you should be able to locate the base with heat seeking radar. Enjoy the snow." With that the minister hung up and Tony turned to the room.

"Nat call Clint, and round up Sam and Wanda they could be useful. Cap suit up, and oh I recommend the long underwear." Tony said before the room erupted in activity. Steve took a quick glance at Natasha who had her cell phone pressed to her ear. She met his eyes for a moment, a small sincere smile touched her lips before whomever she was calling picked up and she started speaking with them in hurried tones.

Banner had stayed in the plane, he liked to hang back unless his presence was necessary. Truth be told a code green could get a little messy, and so far it hadn't been that hard getting into the HYDRA base. It seemed that this cell had gotten hold of some of the alien staff weapons from the battle in New York. Fortunately not many of them, and they were soon inside the building. Leaving Falcon and Wanda outside to control the perimeter the others had gone inside. There was more resistance here, and being a tight enclosed space, with many wires, and guard rails separating the walk ways it was almost impossible for Tony to fly around taking out the enemy. He and Clint had been resigned to standing on the upper levels taking shots at some of the operatives that kept coming from the rooms below them.

Natasha and Steve were in heaven though, close combat was their forte. Working together like a well oiled machine they picked their way through the men sent to stop them with ease until they found what looked like a control room.

"Let's see what they are so determined to protect." Natasha said sitting at one of the monitors and typing furiously at the keyboard.

"Bingo, looks like they are building some kind of super weapon, doesn't look finished yet, won't be hard to shut this operation down." Natasha said offering Steve a full blown smile as she turned back to her screen and looked at the base plans to find out where the weapon was being kept.

"Hey you two almost done in there, we're having a little problem out here." Clint said appearing in the doorway, and letting an arrow fly without even looking, before several explosions erupted around them.

"Sure keep your panties on." Natasha said as Steve ran at the door, dropping down in front of Clint who was about to take a staff blast right to his chest, but instead the blast bounced off Steve's shield and he quickly took out the man who had shot at them.

"Thanks old man." Clint said as more men began piling up the staircase and they all began fighting hand to hand.

"Well that's what you get when you get distracted by a beautiful woman." Steve said looking briefly at Natasha, who had her legs wrapped around a man's neck and was currently choking him to death.

"Aww Cap you know flattery will get you everywhere." Natasha replied as Clint rolled his eyes.

"Isn't it supposed to be flattery gets you nowhere." He stated as he let an arrow fly catching a man right in the neck and sending him tumbling off the edge of the walkway.

"I don't like to comply with conventional norms." Natasha said kicking another guy in the chest and then punching him so hard he flips over the railing and plummets down to the floor.

"I would say you were defiantly extraordinary." Steve said as he bashed a man in the face with his shield effectively putting him down before offering Natasha another smile as she grinned at him from atop a guys shoulders.

"Ok guys please I can't take any more flirting its getting hard to aim whilst throwing up." Tony's voice came over the comm. Line and Natasha quickly dispatched her latest victim before heading down the stairs.

"Ok Stark keep don't get a knot in your tights, basement, that's where all the action is." Natasha said with a broad grin as she hopped the railing, attaching a grappling hook to the edge and sailing all the way to the bottom. Two seconds later Steve landed beside her, his shield reverberating as it dug into the concrete below it.

"Ok you two can have all the fun on this one, but I get to be point on the next." Tony said as he looked down at the pair as they fought off maybe twenty men.

"Having fun yet Cap?" Natasha asked slightly out of breath before Tony took out a guy behind her and she looked up briefly to thank him.

"Not yet, I've barely broken a sweat, think giant robots, and huge alien ships makes everything else seem boring." Steve said as he took out two at once with his shield.

"I know what you mean, but hey this is fun too, its nice you know doing something together." Natasha said as Steve stopped what he was doing, before he got clocked form behind and he quickly pulled the man over his shoulder and put him down with a single blow.

"Should I be flattered now, or worried?" Steve asked as they finally could see daylight as they put down the last few HYDRA operatives.

"Take it as a complement Cap." Natasha said before strutting over to the door and pulling it open. As she did so her eyes blew wide open and she took a large step backwards.

"I think this might warrant a code green. Hit the deck!" Natasha yelled as a gun barrel turned settling on their position, the sound of the gun winding up to fire rang in her ears as she jumped into Steve's waiting arms and they leapt for the nearest hidey hole.

The blast rang out only seconds later, Natasha curled herself into a tiny ball. Steve's body and his shield covering her completely, but Steve was not so lucky, Natasha could see the blood pouring from his abdomen even before the dust settled around them.

 **TBC...**

 **Thank you to all who have stuck with this story, I am sorry for the cliffhanger, but I am know to use them on occasion. Please let me know what you think, comments and suggestions welcomed. Thank you for reading XxX**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well I wasn't going to write tonight as it has gotten late and I'm kind of tired, however I feel like I owe you all a chapter. So for all of those who have followed and favourite this story. Especially to those who have reviewed, this one is for you.**

Natasha's shout was drowned out by the sound of the building collapsing around them. Her hands reaching for his wounds, trying in vein to stench the bleeding from his abdomen. Pulling the torn uniform edges together, she pressed against his midsection as hard as she could and yelled again. 

"Need some help here people. Someone get Banner now!"

The sound of the gun wiring around lining up a second shot sounded so loud in her ears that Natasha felt like burying her face in Steve's neck. For the first time in what was probably forever, Natasha was scared, not only for her own life, but for the man currently in her arms. The world could stand to loose a dangerous criminal like her. Even if she was good now, but him, the one shining beacon in this world full of hate and darkness. Steve Rogers was not going to going to die on her watch.

"Cap, Cap you got to get up." Natasha shouted, but he did not stir. His eyes remained closed and his breathing remained shallow and uneven.

"Dam it Steve get up solider, I can't lift your heavy ass." Natasha shouted at him yet he still did not stir. The gun had stopped moving now and she heard it cock back preparing to fire. Natasha decided to do the only thing she could. Jumping in front of Steve lying between him and the gun, Natasha used her body, and his shield to cover him with. She took a look back at him seeing the pool of blood forming underneath him, and she wondered for a brief moment if her sacrifice would even make a difference. Shaking herself a bracing against Steve's shield she took in a deep shaky breath and prepared for the final blow.

She must have shut her eyes, because in the next second the ground was shaking, but she felt no pain, no flash of heat, no life flashing before her eyes, just the shaking. She wondered if this was what dying felt like. Just nothing, just the world moving below you. Chancing opening her eyes Natasha was stunned for a second as the Hulk took the blast full in the chest and forced his way towards the gun, finally ripping it apart until there was nothing left bigger than the size of the hulk's hand.

"Stark get us the hell out of here." Natasha shouted, quickly regrouping and grabbing hold of Steve's wound and dragging him out from behind the wall.

"Calm yourself sugar lips we heard you the first time." Stark replied as he swept down from above them, and was quickly joined by Falcon. It was the first time Natasha had looked up, and it was only now she saw the massive hole in the building. The sky was dark now, the snow flakes falling in earnest, and landing in cold droplets on her cheeks, melting on her hot skin, they now fell and landed on Steve's face below her.

"Nat, Natasha let go now we have to get him out of here." Sam said to her his hand coming to rest on her shoulder. She quickly drew herself backwards, self-conscious of how close she had been to him. Looking down she could see his blood on her hands, wanting to rub it on her suit she quickly grabbed hold of her guns and pointed them at nobody in particular and turned her head from side to side.

"All clear, lets get out of here, I don't think they are going to be able to rebuild any time soon." Natasha said getting right back to work, as Sam hoisted Steve on to his shoulders and swept him away.

It wasn't until much later that Natasha stood under the shower, washing off Steve's blood, her hair hanging in her eyes, as the water ran down her face into the drain that she began to sob. Long dry heaves that shook her body but produced no tears. Her ability to physically cry was not something they had removed in the red room, but she had not done so since the day she had graduated. Now her body didn't seem to remember what to do. It just shook, forcing her breaths to come in short hitches that made her chest hurt.

"Pull yourself together Romanoff." She almost shouted at herself, slapping the wall in front of her, enough so it hurt. Then punching the solid tiles until her own blood joined that of Steve's running away down the drain.

"Christ. I'm sorry Nat, shit I thought." Sam stuttered from the door way, as her naked back faced him and she turned her face around to look at him.

"It's ok, nothing a thousand people haven't seen before." Natasha replied with only a slight hint of regret in her voice, as she watched Sam face the wall and force his hands in his pockets.

"Umm thought you might like to know. He's awake."

At first all Steve could comprehend was the ringing in his ears. The world was dark with spotted lights, until voices began to cut their way through the ringing, and the spots of light began to clarify into bigger images. There were no faces at first, only voices, and a stark white expanse above him. Then Tony's face drifted into vision, and he seemed to be looking down at Steve.

"Looks ok to me, man's got a hard head." Tony said and Steve wanted to say something, but he found his voice wasn't working right now. Then Banner pooped in for a moment, the frown on his face had Steve concerned, but he was gone before Steve could make any effort to talk.

"I don't think it's his head they are worried about, the large open wound in his stomach is more of a problem right now. Has any one told Nat yet?"

Steve did not miss the mention of her name, it was like a shock to his system, rebooting everything. He felt his fingers flex, and his eyes flutter, and finally the burning pain in his stomach.

"Hey." He managed to croak out, as all the faces now came into view. Banner, Stark, Sam and Clint were all there, but she wasn't. For a moment Steve panicked that she was injured too. They had been together, and that blast had been huge. His face must have changed somehow because Clint reached down and touched his arm.

"She is fine, just went to grab a shower, she was umm a bit dirty." Clint stated trying to be cautious as to how much he should tell their injured Captain. Tony was less diplomatic.

"She was covered in your blood so had to go wash it off before she scared all the kiddies. Probably saved your life though."

Steve breathed in a sigh of relief before attempting to sit up to a chorus of no's before scumming to the pain and flopping back down.

"I'll go get her, I'm sure she will want to see you." Sam said then leaving Steve's field of vision and leaving him with Tony's face as he pulled up a chair.

"What happened?" Steve asked his voice still a little gravelly but it didn't hurt quite so much to talk.

"Guy had this big assed weapon probably adapted from the power supply of the staff weapons, but on like a cannon. You took the brunt of the blast, then Nat called a code green and the rest was history." Tony said winking at Banner who just shrugged and placed his hands in his pockets.

"Glad everyone is ok." Steve managed before having to close his eyes again as sleep took over.

It was dark when he finally opened his eyes again, and he was alone, he wasn't sure whether he was happy about this or not. He loved his friends, but sometimes, especially Tony, they could be a little overbearing. It was just then that he realised he was not as alone as he had first thought. Tensing his muscles, and ignoring the pain in his abdomen Steve listened for any movement coming from inside his room.

"Relax solider it's only me." Natasha's voice was low and smooth, and Steve relaxed almost immediately.

"Nat." it wasn't a question it was a statement, and his breath of relief made Natasha rise until she was stood by his bed. Her face hanging over his as her hand touched his cheek. It was so soft that Steve wasn't even sure if her hand was there at all.

"I'm here, gave us all a scare back there Cap." She said her hand now sliding through his hair and making him feel even more relaxed.

"Have to work on dying better I guess." he said a slight smile on his face but he quickly paused when he saw the sadness in her eyes.

"Really thought we'd lost you this time, I was already claiming your shield." Nat replied, quickly recovering, not wanting the situation to turn sad and awkward.

"I see, better update my will, I was going to leave it to Tony." Steve said with a small laugh before reaching for his stomach and trying to hold on to his painful cry.

"Careful now solider I expect you up and around as soon as possible, I can't be taking out all the bad guys on my own now can I." Natasha said reaching down and taking hold of his hand, gently placing it over his heart as it beat faster in his chest.

"Wouldn't want that, a lady should never have to go out on her own." Steve whispered as Natasha bent down and placed her lips close to his ear.

"Get well soon Steve." her whispered words sent a shiver up his spine, and when her warm lips met the slightly chilled skin of his cheek, he felt his whole face flush hot as she lingered there.

She stood up and moved away far to quickly, but for the first time Steve felt hope for them, that kiss had been real, not forced or friendly, but one of true caring. He lifted his head slightly so he could watch her as she walked towards the door, pulling it open slowly and slipping out without making a sound. Steve wondered, as his body began to succumb to sleep once more, if she was supposed to be here this late. A faint smile touched his lips as he slipped back into painless oblivion.

There had been no more late night visits from Natasha after that. She had been there when the rest of them had come to see him of course, but no more one on one chats. Now Steve was starting to go stir crazy, having been in hospital for the better part of a week, he couldn't wait to go home tomorrow. The doctor had been very clear about the rules if he were allowed to go home.

"No lifting, no running, no fighting, no strenuous activity's and defiantly no saving the world." He had said as Steve nodded, having only some intention of disobeying his doctor. He briefly wondered if kissing and getting over excited when a woman touched you on the face, came under the strenuous activity's category, his wonder only increasing when Natasha alone came to pick him up.

"Hey has anyone seen the dishonour exhibit I'm here to pick up one of their relatives." Natasha said with a bright smile as Steve just lifted an eyebrow at her and picked up his small overnight bag.

"No no no, the doctor said no lifting, give it here." Natasha said practically wrestling the bag off his shoulder and throwing it over her own.

"Your hilarious." He quickly fired off before following her out of the room and down the corridor before walking out into the bright sunshine. It felt good on his skin, the warmth, the soft breeze and he felt himself already starting to feel better.

"Come on you have to see what we have done." Natasha said throwing his bag into the boot of her viper and getting into the car.

"Oh god do I even want to know?" Steve said sceptically, but her smile was infectious and he couldn't help but smile back.

"We have moved your stuff into the old weights room. Moved all the old stuff out of course, so that you are right next to the living room. You can wobble across whenever you like and not become a social hermit lying in your room all day." Natasha said looking pretty pleased with herself, and Steve had to admit, trekking all the way down from his room everyday would have been a huge effort at first.

"Thanks I guess my social standing won't suffer now, one less thing to worry about." he replied with a rye smile as Natasha turned to him.

"Oh your social standing can only go in one direction anyway." she replied looking only at the road ahead but Steve could see the glint in her eye as she drove.

"I will assume you mean it can only go down, and please don't correct me if I'm wrong." Steve said looking for any hint that she was about to make another joke at him expense but she remained silent.

Natasha parked her car and made no move to get out, Steve wondered what she was waiting for, but he knew whatever it was must be important. The black widow never shied away from anything, yet something was giving her pause.

"I'm glad your home Steve, things haven't been the same without you." Natasha finally said, finding the words to express her feelings falling somewhat short in the end, but the look of happiness on his face was enough to let her know she had done ok.

"I'm glad to be home, I miss you guys too." Steve replied knowing both of them wanted to say more but perhaps now was not the time. Both of them climbed out of the car by some unspoken signal and Natasha collected Steve's bag. Offering him her arm he took it gratefully. Walking slowly to the elevator they stepped in, both content in their silence, for now.

 **TBC... Will Steve and Natasha ever manage to sort things out, or has the moment just been lost. Please let me know what you think any comments or suggestions welcomed. Thank you for reading XxX**


	5. Chapter 5

**Welcome on last time dear readers, I hope you have enjoyed the story so far and now on with the conclusion.**

Steve felt like a king. Natasha was almost waiting on him hand and foot, and the rest of the team weren't far behind. Even Tony had kept his good humoured jibes to a minimum, even if right now Steve could use a little levity. He really was feeling better already, maybe it was because he was simply home, but he guessed it had more to do with the company.

"Hey you need another pillow or anything, are you cold?" Natasha said handing him a soda and plopping down next to him, her body tipped towards his, her face eager and happy.

"Nope I have all I need right here." Steve said referring more to her than the comforts he was being afforded.

"Great think I will get something on for dinner then." Natasha went to stand up, but was stopped by Steve's hand on her thigh.

"You could stay a while, I mean I haven't had many people to talk to, you know in hospital." Steve said hoping to not sound too desperate, but falling somewhat short of the mark.

"Oh well I can't deny a wounded solider his request. what would you like to talk about?" Natasha replied keeping her tone light as she observed that somehow everyone else had left the room. She hadn't even noticed them leaving. Inwardly cursing, she wondered if Stark had orchestrated their silent exit on purpose. If he had, Natasha vowed to herself that there would be payback.

"Well how about you catch me up with what's been going on?" Steve said as Natasha looked around the room with a frown, but quickly turned to him with a large smile.

Steve noticed that once again her smile seemed forced somehow, not totally insincere, but there was something off about just how many teeth she was showing as she smiled. He could count on one hand the amount of time Natasha Romanoff had genuinely smiled at him. The ones loaded with emotion, truth, and sincerity. They were different, softer, one side of her mouth curling more than the other. Less teeth.

"Well not much has been happening, only Tony nearly blowing everyone up with another experiment. Bruce had to jump in and save the day. Clint went home to see the baby who is now almost sleeping through the night, and Sam has managed to make this remote-control plane thing, he's chosen some stupid name for it. Can't remember now but I refuse to treat it like a real thing." Natasha said turning her head from him and looking at her own legs. Steve wanted to reach out and touch her. Place his hand on her face. He knew her skin would be soft and warm, he remembered what it had felt like under his fingers. He remembered everything from their last encounter. It was seared on to his soul.

"Well you guys sure know how to have fun without me." Steve said with a small smile on his face as she raised her eyes to meet his own, but it only lasted a second before she was moving again, and this time he was too slow to stop her. He was sure that she had done that on purpose, and the fact that she was already halfway to the door before she turned to look at him confirmed his suspicions.

"I'll get you something to eat." Natasha said before she pulled open the door and headed towards the kitchen.

She was running again, she knew it and yet she couldn't stop it. There was something about Steve that had her all twisted around. She didn't know what it was specifically about him that had her heart pounding in her chest. Or her palms sweating until she had to rub them on her jeans. Maybe it wasn't simply one thing, it was just him. The way he looked, the way he smelt, and how kind and truly caring he was. No pretence, no lies, just simple honest truth, her opposite, the light to her dark. She dropped the dish she had been holding. She had been trying to place it on the kitchen counter, but in her distraction had missed. It had toppled off the side of the counter and shattered on the floor. The sound was loud in the small kitchen, and she winced as she heard the door to Steve's room open. She bent down quickly trying to clean up the mess. In her haste she cut her finger, the blood dripped onto the shiny surface of the kitchen floor. She didn't register any pain, but she watched as the blood began to pool below her. For a second she was back in that building, the sound of the gun winding up, the blood under Steve's body as he lay motionless below her. She jumped as Steve's hands landed on her shoulders, her body reacting on instinct. Standing quickly and turning to see who was touching her, her muscles tense, her eyes flashing, assessing the situation, until they landed on Steve's eyes. The concern they held made her pause, what was she doing? How had she gotten this out of control this quickly. Years of training gone in an instant.

"Nat, Nat are you ok?" Steve said reaching for her once more, but this time she pulled back sharply.

"I'm fine, just dropped the stupid bowel that's all." She said that forced smile coming to her face once more and Steve almost cringed at the expression.

"Now you back to bed. You're not supposed to be up and around." Natasha said recovering quickly, forcing her mask back into place and almost pushing him out of the door.

Once he was gone she took a second to take a deep breath and pull herself together. This was just another part to play, another person to embody, Natasha tried to convince herself as she chopped up salad and threw some chicken in a pan.

"I can play housewife for a while." she said in a low voice to herself, but somehow she didn't believe her own words.

Steve wondered just how Natasha had managed to drop that bowel, she was the most poised and graceful person he knew. She could catch a knife butt end up from fifty feet, with her eyes closed, and yet she had managed to drop a simple house hold item. She had also been so far gone she hadn't heard him come into the room. Something he could never do was creep up on her, and now without trying he had managed to almost scare her. Not feeling in the least bit sleepy, Steve sat at the head of the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him and his hands resting lightly over his wound. He wondered if being with him, seeing him so close to death had affected her far more than she was letting on. He knew if their situation had been reversed he would have been different around her. Probably like a mother hen, fussing around her, not letting her out of his sight. He realised that was what was happening here, except Natasha didn't know how to deal with the emotions that this was causing in her. She had been programmed to feel nothing, to play a part and move on, and this time she couldn't do that. Almost guiltily Steve smiled, he didn't want Natasha to been feeling like this, but some small part of him was glad that she was feeling something for him at all. Before he could dwell on his thoughts any longer, the door opened and Natasha stepped though with a small smile.

"Dinner is served." She said placing the tray on his lap and he looked down at it, his stomach grumbling.

"I'm glad your hungry I made plenty if you want seconds." Natasha said as Steve dug in chewing happily as she watched him. Her heart jumped a little as he smiled at her, and placed another fork full in his mouth.

"This is wonderful thank you." he said finally finishing off the bite he had just taken and realised that Natasha was staring at him.

"No problem, anything to make the patient fell better." Natasha said turning to leave as Steve continued to eat.

"Are you not having any?" he asked before she could leave and she paused in the doorway.

"Sure got mine out here, you don't think I would cook just for you now did you Rogers." Natasha said with a rye grin as he smiled back at her.

"Thought never even crossed my mind." He said washing down another mouthful with his glass of water.

"You could bring it in here with me, I won't judge your eating habits." He quickly added knowing that keeping it light would help her agree. No deep emotions, no meaningful look, just a quick goofy smile and she relented.

"Fine, but if Tony sees that kitchen he is going to freak. I'm ok at cooking, but I do tend to make a mess whilst doing it." Natasha replied quickly walking out of the door. She was back in moments however, with her own tray of food.

"I tell you what I think I am ok for a little bit of light house work, I will help you clean up after we are done." Steve said again with a small smile, one he knew she liked as her eyebrows lifted.

"Your on." she replied before starting to eat, as they drifted into an easy silence.

"Oh you weren't joking when you said a bit of a mess." Steve said as he clapped eyes on the carnage in the kitchen.

"Well I was just going with the flow and everything just got left when it landed." Natasha said trying to defend herself but Steve was not being fooled by her innocent act.

"Right you start loading the dishwasher, and I will get a bowel of hot water and start cleaning down the sides." Steve said noticing however that every shard of the broken bowel had been cleared away, as well as the small droplets of blood her cut finger had left behind. Steve watched as Natasha loaded the dishwasher, it seemed like she was purposefully avoiding eye contact with him, and by the time she had everything in and was closing the door, Steve had had enough.

"Nat, can we talk?" He said placing his sponge down and turning to her as she stood upright and lent back against the kitchen counter.

"We have been talking." She said trying to avoid the question, but this time he wasn't going to let her run from him.

"No I mean about what happened between us, all of it, not just the kissing part, even though I wouldn't mind lingering on that a bit." He said leaving his cleaning to step closer to her.

"I thought we had decided that was a mistake that maybe we should just be friends." Natasha said folding her arms now, enjoying this less and less as he drew nearer. The familiar fluttering in her chest, and heat rising in her lower regions was almost enough to make her back away. She didn't however she stood her ground refusing to let something as silly as infatuation get the better of her.

"No we had an argument, because you weren't being honest with me. Just like your aren't now either." Steve said as Natasha looked him in the eyes for the first time all night.

"What is the truth Steve? It's whatever you chose to believe is real. Maybe I just want to fuck you and you can't stand that. You need it to be something more, for you, not for me." Natasha said her voice angry as she unfolded her arms and placed them on her hips. Steve was slightly shocked by the admission that she wanted to have sex with him. Pulling himself together quickly he moved forward once more until he could reach out and take both of her shoulders in his hands.

"I know that isn't true, because the truth came out late at night in a hospital room. I saw it in your eyes and felt it in the way you touched me. There is more there than lust, and I wouldn't want to just fuck you." It took Natasha a moment to get over the shock that Steve had said the F word, she knew he had said it to do just that, and she gave him a quirk of her eyebrow.

"Are you trying to say Mr Rogers that fucking me is out of the question, because I think it might be you who is lying now." Natasha countered as his thumbs began rubbing circles on her shoulders, and his eyes had grown so big, she could hardly make out the blue of them any more.

"Yes it is, I only want you to touch me if you mean it." Steve said finally, knowing that he couldn't deny his want for her, but he could tell her that he could fight his need, if this meant nothing to her.

In an instant her lips were on his, forceful at first, her need overriding her brain for a second, before she backed off and began to kiss him more gently. Steve allowed his hands to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer to him, her tight body pressed so closely to his that there were no spaces in between them now. Her hands went to the back of his neck playing tenderly with the fine hairs there, causing him to shiver at her touch. Her lips still caressing his as their tongues dulled for dominance. He pushed her back against the counter, pressing his hips to hers, until she moaned into his mouth. Pulling back slightly and looking into his eyes. Steve could see the truth laid bare for him now. The soft glassy look on her face, the tilt of her head, and the slight lopsided smile betrayed all to him.

"Touch me like you mean it." Natasha said then as Steve lent in for a bruising kiss, as his hands found her chest, and his hips trust lightly against hers.

Somehow they managed to get into the bedroom, falling together in as mass of half naked limbs and clashing lips. It wasn't slow, or particularly gentle, but it was real, both of them feeling each other's emotions as they joined. Nothing hidden nothing held back. Natasha lay in his arms afterwards, the need to bolt was strong, but the need to stay was stronger. Steve broke the silence, caressing her bare stomach as he turned to look at her.

"I'm not saying this is going to be easy, but I am willing to fight for this, to wait if necessary, however long it takes." His voice was soft in the low light as the sun set outside the window, and Natasha could help but glance at the beauty that lay beyond this room, before turning back and appreciating the view inside it as well.

"I think I can live with that." Natasha said before planting another soft deep kiss onto Steve's waiting lips, until the only reply he could give was to kiss her back.

Natasha knew that this could be dangerous for both of them, that in their line of work there were no guarantees of tomorrow, let alone a future, but right now she knew there was something truly special in loving someone, especially if that person loved you back.

 **THE END**

 **Thank you for reading. I have thoughts about doing another story so if you have any request I would be happy to hear them as I am always looking for ideas. XxX**


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